I am, as my blog title suggests, blind. People assume it's because I'm "old" (hey, I'm only 7!) and then The Girl has to go on her long explanation of what actually happened.
So, for the record, this is what went down:
When I was very little and visiting The Girl's family, the cat whapped me. I didn't do nothing-I was just walking by and the crazy cat smacked my face. I yelped really loud but there wasn't anything The Girl could see wrong with me. A month or so later, I got a white dot in my eye so we went to the vet and the vet said, "Oh, it's just a corneal scar, animals get them all the time, it'll go away and he'll be fine." And he gave me a shot and sent me home. But it didn't go away so we went back. And back. And back.
Finally (too latedly) The Girl realized the vet was crazy and took me to the other vet who said I needed to get to the Dog Eye Specialist ASAP. So we drove down to Colorado and saw him and he did some tests and said, "His optic nerve is completely shot and we have to take out the eye. We can either take it out and stitch it up or we can put an implant in that makes it at least look like he has an eye." She opted for the implant because she knows I'm vain.
Then when I was about five-ish, The Girl came home from work and I was hiding under the bed. My GOOD eye was all gooby and she FREAKED out. We rushed down to Colorado again where the doctor fit us in as an emergency. After tests, he said that it looked like another cat got me and The Girl said, "Hmm. You'd think he would've learned after the first time." But doesn't she know I was protecting the homefront and no lousy neighbor cats should come in MY backyard? Anyway...I had surgery. I didn't know about this at the time because I was asleep, but I guess the doctor told The Girl in the waiting room that I wasn't waking up from the sleepy stuff and they would keep trying to wake me up. I imagine The Girl was a wreck.
Finally I woke up and the doctor wrapped me in a towel and took me to The Girl. He said, "It's not really our policy to let them out so soon, but we figured there's nowhere he'd rather be than with you right now." Boy, was he right! I looked like hell--stitched eye, drool coming out of my mouth because I was still woozy, I even...I even peed a little on the towel and on The Girl's lap. But she held me tight and kept her fingers on my heart because she wanted to make sure my heart was still beating. (Silly girl.)
So that's my story. After that surgery, the doctor said I would be able to see...but I can't. I run into things sometimes. I get turned around outside sometimes and go the wrong way and fall off the sidewalk now and then. But for the most part I'm alright...I fetch, I usually can go outside and come back in all by myself. I follow The Girl everywhere.
That's my long and winding story for anyone who wants to know how I became Blind Maximus.